okay.... so i just created a class blog. i think the layout's nice... anyway, for a53 peeps, it's 04a53.blogspot.com

if you wanna post anything, pls ask me for the username and password.

history calls.

what is the world coming to? i really can't believe it.

bye bye France. Greece has beat you 1-0. this is sad. i shall blog no more about the Euro. nevermind. this is sad. somehow i seem to be repeating this to myself over and over again because i simply cannot believe it. somehow i get the feeling portugal will really make it through. such an upset for France not to advance, but i think England's probably happy about that.

disappointing, did you know that?

beckham misses a penalty and whee... portugal kicks england out. 6-5. and to think england had been leading in the beginning. now excuse me, which team am i supposed to support now? Germany didn't make it to the quarter finals as well.

really am screwed big time for the midterms. did the math 2001 midterm paper and had to constantly refer to the solutions because i couldn't do the questions. cant remember a thing of history and lit is blurring in my mind. there is a slight hope that i'll cope an E in econs. other than that, i'm basically in deep shit. neck high.

but really, can you believe it? in 7 days, all the pain and suffering i'm going through will be over. Hooray. i'm counting down the days.

then it'll be time for my piano exam. i can just feel the excitment mounting.

since studying has officially made me mad, i shall gush/ rant /complain till my heart's content here.

watched world idol wed. kurt nilson from norway won. dang. as in, yeah, he's nice. sings well, but i wanted Heinz Wrinkler to win. the South African idol. man, is he hot. that blond hair that looks so nice and soft... i wanna touch it! really loved the song he sang as well. Aerosmith rocks, and when he sang "don't wanna miss a thing"... suffice to say i was in seventh heaven.

"i don't want to close my eyes, i don't want to fall asleep
cause i miss you babe,and i don't want to miss a thing,
cause even when i dream of you, the sweetest dream would never do,
i still miss you babe, and i don't want to miss a thing."

someone sing it to me! (now we know that Christine is in sore need of love) bleah. feel like rolling on the ground and singing. i shall settle for dancing on the ceiling.

i realize i need alot of things. like, perhaps breakfast?? running saps your strength.

i never really understood the difference between a need and a want. everything is a need to me. i've never wanted stuff, because i've always needed them. or something weird like that.

can't find my ring. my finger feels empty without it. miss the cool feeling of silver. put it on the table and watch as it gets eaten by the mess that is my lecture notes. my mum calls my room a war zone. and she tripped over my bag and she was screaming that there were missiles and trenches. perfect for war. war that she's going to wage on me. oh well, i'm allowed to leave the mess that i've made in my room there for the time being since exams are (shudder) JUST AROUND THE FREAKING CORNER.

okay, back to my pretty ring. or the fact that i need to buy some new pretty earrings but have no time. ha! i have money! for once...

my stomach's rumbling. today is freaking lit day. what fun. chaucer and all the wonderful notes to highlight and read! i feel so elated at the thought of that. seriously... of course not.

wish someone was here to hug me. *pouts*

eeeeewwww.

i haven't eaten chocolate in ages. oh god, why am i torturing myself? let's think back... when did i eat chocolate? okay, so it was monday but the last time before that was... with YY and that was on saturday first week. first week to the fourth week... yicks.

vitamin C's "As long as you're loving me" is really sweet.

and i think Ricky Martin is hot.

what else?

that stupid Pinot Noir 2001 is beginning to irritate me. everytime i open the fridge, it's there. it's mocking me! ha, it wouldn't have that superior look when i uncork it and finish it off. ha! sucks to you.

my ear is still semi blocked. how long must i suffer? how long must my sister endure my whines? how long before she snaps and punches me in the nose?

my handphone is beginning to look like a really nice piece of chocolate. argh. i think i'll eat the keyboard up. suddenly, everything looks like chocolate.

wait. it's gone.

come back!

on to piano playing and then to study. *cackles with glee*

i don't know what to say.

i'm so shocked by the turn of events.

did you hear me when i was talking to you?
i was crying silently with you.
i felt your pain because i went through the same thing.

feel like i'm treading on thin ice.

was that how you felt last year with me?

i can't tell you it doesn't matter, because i know it does.
i can't tell you it doesn't hurt, because i know it does.

what can i do?

i remembered how you were there to comfort me.
but i can't be with you right now to do the same.

i want to go to your house and tell you it'll be alright.

but would you believe me?

i didn't last year.

i was just glad you were there.
i hope i can be there for you always.

just want you to know that i care.

even though it seems really hard to believe, time really does heal all wounds.

just... never give up. i know you're much stronger than me.

----

the above post is for a friend. not sure if she'll ever read it, not sure i want to divulge the circumstances of the situation. but i know for sure that i never expected something like this to happen.
sometimes life really sucks. life really is unfair. because she deserves better.
and for those that really want to know, it's a guide thing. that's all. tactful people would know what to say and what not to.

on a happier note, haha, does it sound like i'm a good friend to have? because i'll always be there, no matter how busy i am. never too busy to turn away a friend.
tis all.

blah blah blah.

i am so bored.

yet i don't want to start my studying.

late starter.

early stopper.

the nonsense i can invent never ceases to amaze me.

i am amazed quite easily.

stupid econs. i have 1 more chapter left. seriously. only monopoly left. and all i have of math left is trigo. the only problem, which is a really major problem is that...

I CANT REMEMBER ANYTHING.

g.r.e.a.t.

might as well not have studied right? okay, i will go organise my notes, because they're all over the place, i will file them in a pretty file, admire it for a few minutes, and flip through them using super fast speed and hope everything comes back.

wahahahaha.

i will rule the world as a pink slipper!!!
i will have minions!!! Hamster minions!!!
i will command my hamsters to eat all the hamster food in the world!!! (sucks to those who chose not to follow me!)

i will not cry when Quek, ahem, does something to them.

haha, dun be offended, k, Quek? i'm just cracking up.

i love Rooney... *sob sob*

england beat croatia 4-2! and Rooney scored 2 of the goals. *cries*

if i cant see Spain in the finals, then at least i can see England. hopefully the next best team outta team D will be Germany.

amidst it all, my hopes are dashed. Spain makes its exit out of Euro. and that sucks. the only reason Greece is in is because of Portugal's 1-0 win over Spain. in short, Greece advanced because it scored more goals than Spain. wonderful.

i feel myself getting all the more depressed. the only thing that could possibly screw my day over is if England loses to Croatia. if they do... i've decided to boycott Euro. i'll refuse to watch. no la, i dun think it'll come to that.

when i found out about Spain... they have such a great team! and the fact that France hasn't been playing as well as i would've liked them to... this season isnt giving me a lot to cheer about.

oh well. as long as the players feel that they've played their best.

on to decline and fall.

sounds so ominous

sometimes i really don't know what i'm doing.

it doesn't seem like something i'll do.

or enjoy listening to.

*dotz*

*Keith's favourite word*

i think i need a huge whack on the head.

because strangely enough, i went to bed dreaming about it.

i'm not sure whether to laugh or to cry.

i'll settle for staring into space in mute silence.

i've lost the desire to panic and scream.

i realised how different i was from a few years ago.

secondary school... somehow it seemed as though sec 1 and sec 2 was almost like primary school. aside from the increasingly difficult schoolwork.

sec 3 was like the turning point in my life. it was one of my best years in guides, and i met some of the greatest people i've ever known. (not that i didn't in sec 1 and 2) i renewed friendships that had waned over the years. i was happy. (not that i wasnt in the previuos years but u get what i mean)

no need to talk about sec 4 because i discovered i was slowly changing. but i couldn't really pinpoint it.

i guess i can now. it's more than the intense passion i have for certain things now... soccer and such. i still hate schoolwork and think of the gates to school as the gates to hell, but that's not the point. yes, when the world cup was on, i was disinterested. not anymore... for certain topics that bothered me in the past, i no longer think of them as bothersome...

when people talk to me about stuff, i've seemed to have lost that certain zest and enthusiasm. i'm not entirely sure if that's a good or bad thing. i get more depressed easily anyway.

because i know that i've got a lot more to lose now than in the past.

some things are too precious to be trifled with.

"to know me is to love me" haha, ego ego.

seriously, i am oh so lovable. you just can't help loving me.

ahem.

okay. i know. i know. asking for it right? makes you want to slap me right?

guess my personality is such a colourful one.

okay, jokes aside.

and really, i must emphasize this over and over again.

i love everyone.

LOVE YOU!

guess i'm feeling hyper.

hyper and happy.

must be the chocolate. not that i had any... ahem.

apparently, i had ear infection.

when it clears up, i'm going to celebrate and open up that bottle of red wine that's chilling in the fridge.

cannot wait.

bored so i thought i'll just do some nonsense.

Euro 2004 Highlights... brought to you by an England supporter/reporter. (no biasness here or anywhere)

AAAAAAAAAAnd hereeeeeeeee weeeeeeeeeee haveeeeeeeeeee the firssssssssssst gameeeeeeeeeeee playedddddddd byyyyyyyyyyy Englanddddddddddd!!! *insert cheers*

playing France. Zinedine Zidane... midfielder... dammmn zaiii *wait. why am i cheering for the opposite team?*

AAAAAAAAAAAnd the England team is leading. *SCORE*

Hmm... perhaps we ought to relax... seeing how the match is ending. we've scored 1!!! France--> 0... big fat 0. what say we go get a beer and just chill? England is sure in for quarter finals la.

*goes off to get a beer*

*comes back and faints at the final score*

*with 2 minutes left... France has scored 2 goals, putting England's position in the quarter finals at risk*

*HOW COULD THAT HAPPEN???*

-------

Can we expect a comeback from the England team? or has their moral dropped? the next 2 matches are crucial! croatia and switzerland.

-------

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDDDDDDDDDDDD the England team kicks butt!

Wayne Rooney became the youngest goalscorer in the history of the European Championship with a two goals in a 3-0 victory over Switzerland on Thursday to haul England back into contention for Euro 2004.

-------

on monday! we'll find out if England is in the running!

but wait. what's this?

France VS Croatia. 2-2

Croatia's midfielders: Giovani Rosso, Boris Zivkovic, Marko Babic, Milan Rapaic, Jerko Leko and Niko Kovac... quite a young and talented bunch.

so it remains to be seen. France has denied themselves a confirmation seat in the quarters... and England's triumpt over Croatia remains to be seen.

------

staaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy tunnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeee.

my 2 cents worth.

(er, in case anyone's wondering, i'm not really an England supporter)

i'm going deaf. and no, i always figured that i'll go deaf in my golden years or because of the drums. but not because i went swimming! ear isnt blocked by water, but by pressure against it. hurts at strange intervals. and i have to freaking go to the doctor. yes, i have decided that it's better to consult a doctor than to whine, scream and moan about it.

had piano today. teacher spoke surprisingly loud. thank god. because i think she'll be irritated with my "what? what?" all the time. then she told me my scales weren't calm. excuse me. like she expected them to be! how can you ask me to be calm and collected when i'm so afraid she'll pass some comment at the end like "tone isnt there! why isn't it full tone? it's too soft!" or blah blah blah. obviously, i get very agitated during scales. as if i can be calm!

bloody fucking ear! stupid assface. i think i'm going to start sprouting vulgarities here. shit. getting quite painful.

and the doctor probably cant do anything. i'm seriously going to go around deaf for the rest of my life.

deaf at 16.

what a cheerful thought

it is never too late to try to change/remedy a situation.

went to see what the hype about this whole friendster thing is. yes, i know i'm kinda slow, but i've always felt a little apprehensive about the idea of knowing a friend of a friend of a friend. anyway, if anyone wants to add me, go ahead and search for me. i'll surely write a testimonial for you. but yeah, was searching for Daniel Ong cos i know my cousin uses it. then from there, i also found Simon. he's more often online than Daniel so i guess he accepted my invitation faster.

felt sentimental these days... and thought back on my childhood days of we three... (Daniel, Simon and I)all playing together. the age gap didn't matter, Simon was 4 years older than me and Daniel, 2... i guess things started to change when we realised that boys and girls liked different things. no la, i think it was the fact that we saw less and less of each other, until we saw each other only during Chinese New Year and Christmas. even then, we rarely talked. Simon grew really really tall and towered over the whole lot of us, (180? 190? really really tall). and i entered Secondary school. i dunno what happened... but since there's a chance to talk again via friendster... guess we can always try to know each other better. he's a really really cool guy. actually, we're all really cool. haha.

Ya As cousies we lack some Communication...HaHa maybe Back then we were still young buden now that Donkey Years have passed everyone of us has grown into Adults haha... Ya sad to say we only get to meet once or twice a year... Buden I must say i see Daniel More often...that bugger is always hanging around haha.. Maybe i have problems communicating with Female bahz... I shy guy haha... Hmm so u are now in JC well i can't help out anywhere but jus pass all my academic luck to you and wish u the bestest of luck though i know unlike ur cousin me, u dun need luck in exams... Can say dunch really Noe ya inside out but Obviously u are one of the Smartest of the Ong Family pack with mi considerably at the Bottom haha... Think will see yah mext on christmas...Well get ready to see me All bald haha... So excited to get into NS hoho... All the Best and Take Care~~ SeNd Ma ReGaRds TO 3rd UnCle AnD AuNtiEz~~ ~NoMiS~ OutTa HeRe`~

i guess i thought of putting Simon's testimonial here... because it'll remind that it really isn't too late to get to know each other better.

and yes, in case u still haven't figured it out, he is my cousin as well.

i want to be free from you.

i want to be free from the way i feel when i see you.

i want to be free from the way i imagine your touch to feel.

i want to be free from the thoughts i have of you.

the only thing stopping me is my heart.

my head tells me that we will never be what i want us to be.
my heart tells me that no matter how you may act/ what you may say, i will always love you.

damnit.
-tbc-

(tbc means to be continued) i think the damnit is funny. not sure why i added that in but i think it's kinda ironic. or funny. or weird.

i think i post strange stuff. haha. in case anyone's wondering... don't. no hidden meaning, nothing.

just that i like to write this kinda stuff. there's a masochistic tendancy in all of us. at least i believe that what i wrote isn't new, isn't something milestony... guess it's kinda real. pertains to people. just general murmurings.

whee... suddenly feel hyper. was it the math that did it?

*horrors*

*runs screaming*

*comes back to shout one more time before logging off*

*I LOVE YOU*

*THAT APPLIES TO EVERYONE!*

okay, kinda cut some parts of the song since it's in spanish. not that spanish isnt nice, but i don't understand it.

Jaleo
I have lived a thousand lives or more
Stolen,broken hearts behind closed doors
Seen the seven wonders of the world
And everywhere I go your name burns in my soul

Take me back and make it happen
Get on the floor,cause a chain reaction

I can feel you underneath my skin
You're the reason for the shape Im in
On your lips I kiss,it tastes of sin
I wanna take your naked heart into my hands

Caught me with my hands in the fire
I am trapped in my desire to be with you now...
-Ricky Martin

love his songs. didn't really get the hidden meaning behind a lot of them until i was like, what? sec 2? sec 3? such a sad and shelthered life i had lived. someone should sing that song to me.

ahem.

Thurs: did PW at AMK macs with Quek, Li Hui. finished doing the survey questions and interview questions. then met Gladys, Renny to go to Camp Christine. PGA stuff. very tiring.

Fri: met Quek to do an interview at Paragon, rushed off to piano at Yishun, teacher kept me back so i had to take a cab to Guide House for the meeting and then found out that the meeting was like an amazing race kinda game. we had to go back to Orchard. i'm beginning to hate that place. or maybe not. feet pain. i was so annoyed because i had a bloody headache and i had spent cab fare that i didn't have. just to play a game. you go work out for yourself whether it was worth it or not. but the company was good. so i guess by the time it ended i was ok.

Sat: (Chermaine's birthday) going to do some work. or at least try to. Linkin Park "Live in Texus" is on, so is the making of Harry Potter! yay.

Hwee Min's blog: She wrote that it was better to feel angry at someone rather than feel disappointed because you can get over anger but not disappointment.

i'm not sure if i agree or not. i get angry easily and i let go of it very fast. then i feel guilty because i said or did things in anger.

disappointments rule my life. everytime i expect something, i don't seem to get it. and it's not as if i'm asking for the world. i'm merely asking for something so simple. somethings that i deserve. who ever said life was fair? no one did.

but one thing is similar. no matter how angry or disappointed you are over/at someone, will it make you like the person any less? if you are friends, people you care about, the anger and the disappointment caused will seem little after a while. because you care too much to be mad, care too much to "not care".

both anger and disappointment can be gotten over, it just depends on the time factor. still, disappointments can last a lifetime, while anger, like i said earlier, is easier to get rid off. i should know.

i guess that's just my opinion, and i'm not sure if i agree or disagree with that statement, it's just something that i felt was worth dwelling on. especially with what happened today...

when the anger comes, i just want to lash out.

whatever.

but then, i realise that i'll end up making excuses.

like i said, i care too much to remain angry.

still...

guilty guilty guilty.

it's eating up my insides.

i feel like i'm wallowing in the depths of no tomorrow.

and i know why i'm feeling this way.

because i'm a BLOODY idiot.

yes, drama drama drama.

fell asleep yesterday instead of studying. pushed econs to one side because i couldn't bear to look at it. an afternoon nap of 3.5 hours. if that's not called procastinating, i don't know what is. okay, so maybe i'm exaggerating. but i should know better.

watched harry potter 1, part 2, yesterday. i just had to come online and gush. so here goes: oh my god!!! ron is soooo cute as a little boy. so cute i tell you. absolutely cute. his facial expressions are so endearing. i know not many people like him as much as they do harry, but go watch his expressions! and he was so small and cute. i want to hug him!!!!! so cute!!!!

ahem.

i'm feeling very very hyper. (after all, the notion of studying has yet to set in)

so i just want to shout out this message: I LOVE YOU.

no matter who you are, i love you.

i think i might go back to my "i love you" phase.

because, i really really love you.

whee!!!! love you guys lots.

i hope you love me too. :P

saturday: slack slack slack slack. went to esplanade to catch a piano recital with YY. we had dinner before that and for desert we ate this totally awesome chocolate thing. i think i'll start to drool if i dwell anymore on it. well worth the money. the piano recital was quite good too, those people damn pro, why can't i be like them??

sunday: went to church, went out to shop for Eldon and Chermaine's present before meeting some of the class for a mini class outing at Seoul Garden. Jian Yong never fails to amaze me. he just kept on cooking and cooking stuff. amazing. i wonder how much his stomach can handle. came home and watch Harry Potter! oh man, compared to when he was making the first movie and the third... cute little boy to a semi-hot guy. Malfoy looked so cute as well. oh well.

monday: it's a stay home day. after lunch must definitely start studying already. procastinate and procastinate... argh! i might as well get retained because i know i wouldn't have any idea of what i'm studying. econs... bleah. who's the fiend who invented education?


beyond the vast shores
beyond the simple sands
beyond all the doubts and bends
way across the distant lands

that's where my mind is i guess. somewhere far far away. it took off at the first opportunity that presented itself. smart mind. it definitely knows the horrors of studying.

{-8th World Wonder-}

wednesday: watched troy with Benita, Michelle. quite okay la, but i think it was quite sad that all those good looking guys had to die. but some of the fighting scenes... they put me off a little. too much, ya know?

thursday: (Gladys's birthday) mum came back. went to the gym for a really long time. rushed off to school for history makeup. went for pw meeting. rushed to tampines mall but found out that i didn't have to actually. met June. waited for Gladys. watched Harry Potter 3. it was so good. yeah, so it didn't exactly follow the book, but neither did the first and second movie. let me repeat again, it was good. harry looked kinda sloppy, with his shirt and tie and stuff, but it was a good kind of sloppy. and malfoy... looks different. the hair's no longer plastered down. but he didn't have many cameos, pity. hmm, June's very pretty. and more observant. wonder why.

still feeling kinda happy. there must be a drug in my system.

don't ever hold on because you need to.
but do so because you want to.

{-I knew I loved you-} -- Savage Garden rocks.

did PW on monday. went to Clarence's house. he has like 3 guitars. and he is good. nuff said. considering how i took 3 years to learn and till now has yet to be as good as him. but then, i also play the piano and the drums. so i have 3 instruments compared to just learning one. anyway, managed to get the interview questions done.

monday night: chatted with Sonya from 11.30 pm to tuesday morning 2.30am. lucky thing dad didn't find out. it was close to 3 that i went to bed. thing was that i wasn't even sleepy. (which is a wonder. must be all those late nights playing ps2 that did it) missed talking to Sonya. all those conversations full of her wit... it was just quite some time since i had such a long convo with her. and she told me something that really made my day. i went to bed with a smile on my face. it was kinda weird.

tuesday: woke up at 6. mumbled bloody murder and got up to go to SN. me and Wei Min were following the camp challenge people to east coast to do raft-making. yes, raft making. and it actually floated. the girls were like so excited... it floated with like 6 people sitting there. when we had to untie the knots, it was so difficult. the salt water made the wood expand and the water made the guylines tighter. see why it's so tough? then went back to SN and Ms Gwee treated us to pizza. she was really nice. got my company tee... Mynah logo was so cute.

i'm really happy. these few days... there's a reason to be happy. there's a reason to smile. yay. :P